Niagara Falls

Notes from Margo:

When we first started making a list of the must-see people and places for our Victory Lap, Niagara Falls pretty much topped my list. I’ve wanted to see it for most of my life, and just never made it happen. So I knew there was a good chance that I’d be disappointed when I finally saw it – just because of its reputation, the build-up, the anticipation.

Didn’t happen that way. The falls are spectacular, completely deserving of their iconic place in the list of American and Canadian scenic wonders.

Our visit didn’t start out so great. Once again we ended up driving after dark, so I was driving and Lynn was navigating. Lynn’s night vision is not particularly good, especially if he’s tired or if it’s raining, so I’m the night driver on our crew. Lynn is, to stay within polite discourse, a careless navigator. So, as expected, we got off course and ended up on the American side of the falls, not the Canadian side that had been our goal. It was dark and late, and we were tired and not exactly sure where we were. We found a motel and sacked out for the night.

In the morning, following the motel clerk’s directions, we rolled through Niagara Falls, New York: down about three miles of dull, ugly, industrial zoning and then strip zoning and then just plain tired-and-ugly zoning. We were thinking that if your city contains one of the world’s great scenic wonders, you don’t have to try very hard. The city was pretty drab until the edge of the Niagara River, where we entered a lovely, narrow park now in just-past-prime fall foliage, still very beautiful. We walked across a bridge over wild, churning waters a few hundred feet above the American Falls. (We couldn’t see the waterfall, except for a bit of mist). I don’t know why I thought the river would be quiet and tranquil just above the huge drop-off, but I was surprised by the tumult.

We walked downriver a quarter-mile or so and then had a spectacular view from Luna Island of the most amazing falls ever. Whew!! If I looked over at the edge, where the water hurls itself into the abyss, I got dizzy right away. Lynn said it was the sound of the jet engines when you’re on a long plane ride. The roar is deafening, but it almost immediately becomes background noise. Drops of water are cold and misty on your skin. And the falls take up your whole visual field. So the experience is visual, aural, tactile and visceral.

We were Niagara-saturated already when we drove to the Canadian side, where we had intended to be anyway. Well! That was really something!! Way bigger, even louder and generating even more thick mist than the American side. The iconic photo that we’ve all seen a thousand times is in Canada, called the Horseshoe Falls, about three times as wide as the American Falls. We walked along part of the mile-long walkway. If it had directions, they would be: “Take your time. There’s an incredible view of both the American and Canadian falls from anywhere along here, and it’s way better than any view from the American side. So walk as far as you like, get as wet as you want, and then turn back. Enjoy.” So we did.

Notable: Some maple leaves from trees below the Canadian walkway fell up, not down. The draft from the falls across the river was strong enough that the multi-colored leaves drifted up over the walkway and then down on us. Unexpected and charming.

Also notable: Lots of gulls flew around the falls, but my favorite bird sighting was a pair of mallards, male and female, paddling hard against the current at the top of the American Falls, dunking their heads for food. I said to Lynn: “They really should find a safer place to feed.” And he looks at me like I’m crazy, and says, “Honey, they can fly.” Oh. Yeah.

Also also notable: We saw a black squirrel. Very cute. That’s a new one for me.

Notes from Lynn:

As we motored through Niagara Falls (U.S.), we saw the honeymoon city of the past is now a municipal version of the portrait of Dorian Gray: Wrinkled, blowsy and disheveled by civic dissipation. When we crossed over to Niagara Falls (Canada), the promenade along the river suggested a tidy little city adorned with flowers, dull but nice. Then I steered the Guppy away from the river and up the street into what a sign called Clifton Hill, a tourist district.

Margo screamed with laughter.

We saw a street transformed into something like a nine-ring circus with a dozen sideshows, each with enormous marquees and neon promises of great adventure. In three short blocks and a couple of side streets, dinosaurs compete for attention with the Great Canadian Midway and a score of other clamoring attractions that would have impressed the hell out of P.T.Barnum. King Kong roars on the Empire State Building, which is on its side, a colossal advertisement for Ripley’s Believe It or Not (700 bizarre exhibits!) … A ghoul carries a smirking witch from the portcullis of the Haunted House (“a skeleton in every closet!”) … Albert Einstein and Marilyn Monroe, Lucy and Desi, Dorothy and Batman await tourists at Louis Tussard’s Waxworks.

Looming over Clifton Hill is the Niagara SkyWheel, a 175-foot ferris wheel with dozens of bubble-shaped, fully enclosed, climate-controlled gondolas so that tourists can view from 175 feet the vistas of the two great waterfalls that everyone else sees for free.

So much for the image of tidy, dull Canada. Somehow the drab indifference of Niagara Falls (U.S.) is preferable to the gaudy carnival of Niagara Falls (Canada). Margo disagrees. She has a soft spot for the visual chaos and excesses of Clifton Hill. But, as we left, she said: “I’ll never criticize Fishermans Wharf again.”

Notable: Seeking carnival-free entertainment, we visited the Lundy's Lane Historical Museum, in honor of our dear friends, the Gold family, who live on Lundys Lane in San Francisco's Bernal Hill. There we learned more than anyone needs to know about the 1814 battle of Lundy's Lane, which holds the distinction of being the bloodiest battle of the War of 1812 in which no ground was gained or lost, about 800 soldiers on each side were killed, and neither side really won or lost. Canadians consider it a great victory.

Mileage from Niagara Falls, New York, to Lockport: 35 (by way of Lake Ontario)

Total mileage so far: 6,552